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i hate every fiber of my being. today something happened between me and my dad and i didn't know who to go to to vent. so i went to my close friend and started venting about some really heavy stuff about abuse without asking them if i could. once i was finished venting, i moved on and pretended like nothing happened because thats what i usually do. then they blew up on me. they were furious and started to telling me how what i did was completely out of line. heres what they said: "what i did to them was wrong. i should not have suddenly vented to them about things and then moving on like nothing happened. they go through stuff too and it was rude as hell to go dump my vent onto them. they go through a horrible household too and they dont complain all the time like i do".
i feel disgusting. absolutely disgusting. i messed up so bad. i should have asked them to vent, or better yet, shut my mouth and cried about it to myself. i should not vent. i need to get it into my brain that i am not meaningful enough to vent. i am worthless and my only purpose here on earth before i die in a couple months is to help others and put the needs of others before mine. i do not have needs in fact, i need to get it into my head. do. not. vent. every time i have vented something bad has happened to me. the universe is telling me that i should keep all my problems to myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i am in the complete wrong and i need to make it up to them
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Friends are supposed to be there for you when you need to vent. Yes, we all have our own issues but there’s no reason for your “friends” to get angry and make you feel guilty for venting about abuse. I’m sorry you had to go through that and your feelings are absolutely valid. Maybe it’s time to find new friends if they’re invalidating your feelings.
ReplyDon’t think that everyone deserves to vent. I wish you had someone like me back in school if a friend would call at any hour I would listen to them fully vent and then offer any advice. I hope you find a friend like that.
ReplyYou are completely worth the support. You deserve to have someone to vent to. Please remember that while sometimes you don't get the things you need, it doesn't mean that you don't deserve to have those things or that you don't matter. You do matter, it's just that some people are too in their own heads to realize that.
You get to feel any way you want, and I wish your friend understood that. You had an obvious need for support at that moment and if they weren't up for giving that support, they should have explained that to you, rather than blaming it on you for needing to vent. The way they talked to you was completely inappropriate.
You don't have to make it up to them. If they can't accept that you need to vent, maybe they're not the one you should be venting to. You trusted them to help you and they broke that trust. It's not your fault.
Please don't try to live for other people. Living for yourself is so empowering and it's one of the things that really changed my life. I struggled with hating myself, but it became a lot easier when I realized that I didn't have to live to fix the things about me other people saw as wrong. You feel emotion, you have reactions, you have problems. It's the difficult but beautiful reality of being human. You are complex and sometimes that won't fit in with what everyone else wants, but when you live for yourself, you don't have to keep fitting into other people's puzzles, you make your own.
I believe in you. Please believe in yourself ❤❤❤❤
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