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im so sick of this. its a pain in my chest that creeps into my throat and chokes me up and creeps into my eyes and makes them water and creeps into my stomach and puts a pit there and creeps into my limbs and makes them weak and it all started when i noticed how amazing you are.
and in these months ive only been able to think of you but i havent been able to know you better despite my best efforts. and in your sweet replies you let me wonder how you feel about me. i only know you dont feel the same pain in your chest that i feel in mine because then you would latch onto every hint that i like you and desperately take every chance you could to get to know me better.
i wish you would run to me. but if you wont do that i wish you would run from me. i wish you would leave me in the dust because im sick of this pain i get when i wonder how you feel about me. i know thats too much to ask of you since the way i feel about you is my doing and not yours.
the questions
do you like me
could you love me
can you see that i like you
could i make it more obvious
do you hate me for feeling this way
does it make you uncomfortable that i think of you all the time
do you know that you amaze me
can i just spend more time with you
can we know each other deeply
is it okay that i want to love you
all these questions sit under my tongue and i waste my time by trying to ask you in other ways and it gets me nowhere. and at this point my feelings have gone further than i ever wanted them to go and you're farther away than ever before but its like i put you in my heart and lost the key and now im stuck on you no matter how much i know i have no right to be.
maybe it will all fade away and i will find other things to spend my time thinking about. but im afraid i'll go crazy because i didnt want to admit that somehow (as much as it makes me cringe to say) in some sad way and in some sense of the word i am more or less in love with you.
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do you like me yes
could you love me easy
can you see that i like you no
could i make it more obvious yeah
do you hate me for feeling this way of course not
does it make you uncomfortable that i think of you all the time no
do you know that you amaze me no
can i just spend more time with you how
can we know each other deeply how
is it okay that i want to love you yes
ReplyToo smart to touch it huh😂 i see you.
Replyi woulda responded but you aint her :/
ReplyAre you sure?
Replywell shit if you're her then fucking text me cuz if i always gotta make the first move im gonna start to feel like a creep talking to a girl who wants nothing to do with him. i feel like i've tried to make my interest in her obvious and she has reacted so nicely but never really shown interest in me. she gives me lengthy answers to my questions but dont ever ask me a question back. she lives a bit too far away from me now but i still cant get my mind off her and yeah she could be oblivious to my interest but i'd feel terrible if i kept on hounding her about it after she already got the message and was too polite to just reject me. i feel like an idiot for caring and not being able to move on but i havent beaten the voice inside me that says maybe maybe theres something there and you're killing yourself if you let it slip away.
Replyu wrote my brain down
Reply🤣
ReplyThis expresses what ive been going through so well that i cried. And beautifully written too.
ReplyThanks. Hoping we both get through it.
Reply