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This guy I’ve been dating for 3+ years left to another city with friends for a job. I’m a female 20 he’s a male 21.
He is a very sexual guy and I am not, I want to wait until marriage and he knows this. Since the beginning he would force blowjobs and handjobs, I would bite and hit him to let him know I was uncomfortable. He would especially do this at my parents home ask for a blanket and ask for a movie to do it in the dark. This has gone on for the entire 3+ years.
This past Sunday he came by to say his goodbyes as he was leaving sometime this week. It was okay, we went to a park and talk then he tried being sexual and I got out the car and told him no he promised to behave. We went to a different park and then headed to my house.
We made a compromise that I would give him a handjob but only with a glove on, he only wanted to see me for that. I already knew but I did ask him if he tested out the gloves to see if they bothered him. He said no and that I was meant to help. He then parked away from my house and handed me a glove to do it. I did touch and ask if it was okay he said yeah keep going. I tried stopping and he started whining. I kept going until his friends called and he answered then I stopped for a bit and decided I would embarrass him I kept going and then got annoyed when he wasn’t embarrassed so I stopped.
He wanted to keep going and I told him ok and that he promised he would start respecting my wishes. He dropped me off at home and left. He came back because he lost his phone I called it and we had an argument. He was mad that I didn’t finish why I apparently started (I didn’t start anything).
He had the never to yell at me “DONT YOU EBER DO THAT AGAIN”. Im not a child so I didn’t appreciate that and I told him not to raise his voice at me as I was staying calm and that I told him clearly that if he himself had tested the gloves on himself. He threw “you’re my girlfriend you’re supposed to help with that”
I told him maybe this year will be good for you you’ll be able to deal with your addiction and every month or two you see me we can actually do stuff without it leading to that or near that.
He then had the nerve to say “if you’re saying I’m suffering yeah I am I have for 3 freakin years”
I got mad and said “then quit complaining and suffer in silence”.
I had enough I sacrificed my self worth and dignity for him I hated myself because of him forcing me to do things. He gets mad if things don’t go his way and I am so close to a breaking point I know I will never love him as much as I did when we first got together, my eyes lighting up and my face hurting from smiling when I spoke about him. He always asks if I will ever go back to that and I say I don’t know.
He also said he was leaving close to the 7th so either the 5th or 6th. He told me he paid his dentist for his appointment on the 3rd to see him. I then found out he is already in the other city and just finished a shift a few hours ago.
A part of me doesn’t care for him anymore and another loves him. Any and all advice is welcome especially the one I don’t want to hear.
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He doesn't appreciate you and doesn't respect you and your decisions. It sounds like you are staying with him just because ya'll been together for 3+ years. You are still young, you can find someone better
ReplyThere are wayyyy better guys out there than this. Trust me, he is only sticking around because you're willing to put up with his unacceptable behavior. He doesn't respect your boundaries or you, and is causing you distress and anxiety on top of that. You deserve better, trust me. I've been around a lot of guys like this and I remember feeling kind of trapped because I just wished so badly that they would one day get it and understand, but they never will, especially if you stick around. You can do better, I promise, you should leave him because no amount of love will cause him to change and respect you.
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