What are you looking for?
I would like to share a little and maybe get some advice. Will you listen?
1 week ago · · Loneliness, · Explicit
I dont do this often but i thought it might be something interesting.
A little about my self... I'm at my 30s, I work as a councilor and Educational guide for the past 7 years with different groups of teens, special needs, youth and risk, youths at correctional facilities and my last job is working of teens who have no families. i studied psychology and am pretty good at my job. before all this I served for nearly 4 years in the military as a sniper in field intelligence.
So I lived a somewhat full life in my taste. And thats thing, i dont feel fun anymore, new things dont excite me for long, my job just becomes a text book of knowing what and where the conversation will lead to, and even thoughts about dying dont move me.
I used to tell the teens that are in such a position that they are flouting is calm waters, waiting for the tiniest ripple to move them, if they dont move them selves they might wait for an eternity for something that is just a push from someone else's motion.
I know that giving advice is easier then taking it. all my life I could share and talk with the my inner self, it helped a lot. I do share with others but I quickly turns to me being the "fixer" rather then the sharing party.
I haven't gone to see a psychologist, mostly due to lack of time with work and I tend to forget about my feelings (which is a known problem in my line of work).
I guess what I'm saying is, or rather trying to say, is the I'm at a lose... Mentaly i'm healthy I believe. I do lack love... but thats due to the fact that I dont look for it, doesn't excite me anymore, sex is just a momentary fun activity, and holding a relationship is just not rewording enough.
I wrote that before, but even the thoughts of death, who would miss me, how long and how it will happen just brushed by as similar as a thought about what sandwich I will make today after work and which Netflix series ill jump into now.
I feel empty and dont know, with all of my experience, how to fill that. You see... if you try to talk to me about the "half full half empty glass" analogy, ide answer that I see the whole glass, both good and bad of a situation. So theres nothing, in my mind, left to explore.
I dont know if i'm making much sense, but i would love to hear others and how they see it. Maybe get some ideas and learn a bit.