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Dear Michael,
although I'm aware you hate when I call you by your name, I'm currently left with no choice. You've grown to hate me within a day, and I understand that. It's fair that you hate me because I broke our promise. The promise that I would never leave you, but I'm 16. Age isn't an excuse, but it's the fact that I still need more time to mature. I'm not ready, you know this you're almost 19.
Even though you hate me, I still admire and appreciate you. For everything you've done for me in the last 6 months. The way you helped me grow as a person and let me cry as I please instead of making me bottle it all up. I appreciate all the sweet words you would whisper to me late at night. I appreciate you always telling me the minor details in your story.
Despite you probably never understanding why I did it, it was for the better. On my end at least and I know it was selfish, but I really needed it. When dating someone begins to feel like a chore, that's when it begins to fall apart. Somehow you began acting like a helicopter parent and it was driving me insane, and even though I told you, you decided to ignore me.
I also did get your last message before you blocked me. There never was anybody else, my entire life revolved around you because you made me block everyone else. There never was or has been anyone else, you were the only person that I loved. You changed up so fast because of your barrier of defense but god, I know you too well. I know you were crying when you texted me. I know you, because that's how it goes. It's what you do when you get frustrated after a break up.
I'm sorry, I really am so sorry Michael. I've been chanting those words alone all day. Almost as if apologizing for everything I've done in life but no, every sorry has been for you. Every time I've uttered it, it's been for you. Because I really am so sorry that things had to end like this. I really am so sorry that I broke our promise. I am so sorry that I wasn't able to fix things. I'm so sorry that I left you.
I know I've spouted a million apologies to you over the smallest little things. This is just as genuine as anything else though. I know you'll never accept my apology, but I need you to at least acknowledge it. I need you to know that I'm sorry, even if it doesn't seem real.
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You did what you had to do. Good on you.
ReplyYou sound really mature for your age and in control of your life. KUDOS! Hope you have an awesome life.
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