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Nightmares are becoming a reality
1 year ago · · Selfharm,
So, i keep on having the same nightmare. But, it happens as a day dream too... So, the easiest thing to say is that it is a reoccurring issue and im scared of what it means or of what i am thinking subconsciously.
I wake up in the middle of the night, the clock next to me usually says around 3.15, of course... I feel sick rising through my throat so i climb out of bed and stumble to my bathroom, i look at myself in the mirror and my face is all flared up and puffy because i was crying im guessing. I start crying even more, but as the tears drop from my eyes i feel a burning sensation on my arm and legs.
I look down and i am covered in cuts, pouring out. I grab the hand to try and stop the blood but it just keeps coming and coming. I cry harder and start to shake, i wrap my arms and leps up in a towel and try to get back to bed, realising that i must have passed out after cutting and thats what woke me up. The pain.
I then lay there, aimlessly for hours curled in a ball... but this time when i get up im somewhere else, its dark and empty. The cuts have dried up but not gone completely, this time im clean... Then i walk towards this mirror and look at myself , and its just as i was in the first part, like watching myself suffer