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My Timed Entry
5 months ago · · Depression suicide ,
I want to die lol. But I can't commit suicide because that is the biggest sin and I do not want to betray God nor go to hell. But I hate being here so much. I understand that I should be more appreciative and have faith but it's been more than 5 years so I have been trying. But IDK, I'm just so tired. I'm not happy at all. Self-harm is relaxing. I don't really know what to do. It's like I don't care about myself anymore. I don't eat. I either sleep a lot or no sleep at all. I let everyone take advantage of me. I do not speak up. I wish I did though. There is so much that I am holding in. But my heart is too big, to let certain people get in trouble or just to hurt their feelings. I care way too much about everyone but myself. Crazy how it works. But I love God, I know he has a plan for everyone. I wish I was better. But who knows what will happen. So... bye! :)