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Manifest Destiny: Soulmates
4 days ago · · soulmates,
I'll tell you a little secret. There is no guaranteed method of attracting the "perfect mate". While I do still hold soulmates as true, I suspect it's not what most of us make it out to be.
Whether it be the endless search for someone who will never hurt our ego, or the one who will fix life and make everything better. I don't believe in such fallacies anymore. Reality would never let that exist.
It exists in the thrill of life. The desire for adventure and the willingness to strive to be the best you can be. That's where I believe soulmates are found. That's why it's associated with that comfortable calm. Because nothing needs to be fixed, no one needs to be saved and egos have been put aside.
We love selflessly because we choose to and if it is returned, then that starset connection is made. Written by the greatest author, where we are our best self and finding that connection amplifies it.
But there's a few things that have to occur first. You have to be honest, with yourself and with others. Sometimes brutally honest but never from a place of hate.
You have to be ok with feeling the ping, the voice calling out for you. You have to know that at any moment, your eyes may lock with their's. Which means putting away thoughts of who they should be, what they should be like. Because in all honesty, you don't know. So the only way forward is to love everyone, opening yourself up to the potential of randomness.
You have to be willing to look beyond and say yes, they are the one and maybe you'll know it at first sight, maybe you won't even realize until years down the road and life melded the two of you together, you just seemingly stepped away from the wheel the entire time, never fully realizing the exact gravity of it.
Everything in it's own time. I've mostly come to peace with hearing her call my name from places unknown. Daniel, Daniel. Over and over.
For a while it would eat at me, because I knew she was out there and I wasn't doing anything to find her. If anything I've been avoiding her because I've got some pretty bad issues, not someone who could be easily loved.
But I've been trying to change things, inside everything is becoming volatile and I can see the vast amount of rage I've held onto for so long and I'm letting it out in a non destructive way, trying to let it go. Because now, when I hear her, it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I miss her like crazy, yes. Though I still don't know who she is. But I try to remind myself when it hurts that she IS out there and I know she is. I can feel her, I can hear her from time to time, just calling my name.
And in that, i want to be happy, to love unconditionally. So that's what i do. When I talk to others, I genuinely listen. When others are hurting, I genuinely care. Because I don't know who she is or if she's ever seen me and I wouldn't want her to hear harmful or hateful words coming from me.
So I try my best to smile when I feel her. Because if I didn't, it would tear me apart. Because I know deep down that I'm afraid of the idea that someone could love me. That there is someone special waiting for me.
I want my life to have some sense of passion so I can share it with her. I want to have my own happiness so I can share it with her. I want my ability to dream and hope back, so I can share it with her and I know she will have all of those same things to share with me. That's what I look forward to the most.
As I try to commandeer my own mind, that's what I want and that's my higher vision for my life. I don't want her because I need her to complete me. I want her because I want to know what that adventure will feel like. In every aspect, in every way. Every single heart beat and every touch of love's flame. I want to know that and I want to be able to give it back and I want to be able to accept it. In order to do all that, I have to grow and change from the rotting monster I became. I know I have to at least try to love myself if I could ever hope for her to love me.
I believe that is the path to attracting your soulmate and I'm working on having enough faith in that belief that it inspires me to act.
Every aspect of it is connected because if it were true, what I feel. That she is out there waiting. Then connection is what this whole entire thing is about and thus, every aspect is equally the same.
I will find you