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My Unsent Letter
4 days ago · · Love, · Explicit
I'm officially gonna give up trying to be with you because I think it's for the best. But since we will probably never see each other again, I want to tell you how much I like you.
You are simply awe-inspiring to me. Your soul shines like a beacon of goodness in a world that often seems dark. Your kindness overflows constantly and brightens the lives of all those around you. When I think of your intelligence and dedication, I automatically feel ashamed that I have never worked as hard as you. Your wit and humor and charm warm my heart and make me blush. Despite the tender affection you give so generously, you are tough and stand up for yourself when you deserve respect. And yet you seem almost unaware of your own exaggerated perfection, self-conscious instead about your tiny quirks which themselves are just as beautiful as the rest of you.
The beauty of all that you are sets my head spinning. I'm embarrassed to say I'm fighting back tears right now because you seem to be all that is beautiful about people. All the reason that anyone has ever loved blossoms inside you and billows out and makes the world so much greater for your existing in it. I love the Earth because you're on it and I love my life because I've known you.
I want so badly to spend my whole life with you because you would bring me so much joy, but I wish for your happiness more than I wish for my own. I can't imagine it's easy being the kindest person in every room you're in, because you always give more than you get. I pray to God that under your smile you aren't hurting. I hope that your greatness isn't the result of constant painful effort that you keep hidden. I so desperately hope that you have a happy life. I want you to be loved. I hope that you have kids someday because they will be the luckiest children on Earth to be raised by you and I can only imagine your love for them will be endless. I hope that nobody ever breaks your heart because you don't deserve that. The thought of life not working out for you terrifies me more than anything because if the world is not good to you then I know that it is entirely unfair and undeserving of your existence.
Looking at your face, I don't fully understand what it is about you. I wonder how many people have been affected by you like I have. Surely you've derailed the lives of many people like me. I fear that somehow you've played a trick on me or put me under a spell. Or perhaps that you're a demon sent to make innocent fools fall in love with an image of perfection. That is almost more believable than that any real human could achieve such greatness and beauty as you have.
Whether you're real or not, I really hate to say goodbye to you. I'm not really sending this letter to you but still I can't bare to finish it because I want it to keep going because every word that I write in this stupid fucking letter is a word that I'm imagining saying to you and I want to say so much to you. I want to say everything to you. I want to say everything to you! I want you to know everything I think and I only want to stop when you tell me what you think. I want you to tell me everything about you. I want you to go on and on and I could listen to you talk about fucking anything for years and I could die just sitting there listening to you and I would die happy.
Know that, without effort or intention, you have changed me forever. I really will never look at anything the same. I will try to love as generously as you have. My admiration for you is boundless and I wish you the best the best the best the best the best of everything because you are the best of everything.