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7 months ago · · Cheaters,
It all started when my ex came to town and wanted to hang out. I agreed because when I was dating my ex, I was really young and it lasted only for 3 months and there was no love.
We met and he kept complimenting my body and flirting with me. Somewhere I was liking it because my current boyfriend at that time was really distant, didn’t share anything with me and lied often. I felt left out and there was an emotional void.
When my ex was in town, we met and were about to kiss and I guess I wanted to but we didn’t. Next day he told me we were gonna hang out at a friend’s place with another friend but the three of us went to a hotel instead. I didn’t know we were going to a hotel.
We all got drunk and the common friend left the room by saying that we should spend some time together. He tried making out with me but something was stopping me. He tried really hard and I ended up saying that yeah it’ll be a one night stand and no one should know about it.
I couldn’t do it. I stopped him and felt really guilty. The next day I told my boyfriend about it and it really broke him, things got really bad between us. We kept fighting, blaming each other.
Over the course of time, our relationship got very toxic because of whatever happened and one day my boyfriend confessed that he has been lying to me about watching porn. I consider watching porn as cheating. Some people can disagree with it and it’s okay but there were other things too. He had never stopped lying and I was trying really hard to get things on track from months and every fight would end up where I was the one who cheated. I tried to be honest when nothing actually happened. I controlled myself but he always kept blaming me. I know I’ve hurt him but I never wanted to. He said some really mean things when i went to the hotel with my ex, like because of me he does have a social life, he can’t give time to his friends and his brother. He just let me go.
When I got to know that he was lying it hurt me really bad and I met an old school friend, I was always attracted to him when we were in school and in general too but there was nothing between us. That day we got drunk, i was vulnerable and he was 20 year old virgin. That day I cheated on my boyfriend. After all this time when I tried my best, i gave my everything to him to get lies in return, i cheated.
I feel really guilty about it because I haven’t told him about it and I love him a lot.
I think the reason i cheated is because of the things that my boyfriend has said to me, like i don’t love you like I used to, i don’t find you beautiful as I used to. I don’t see a future with you. He never said he wanted to marry me or have a family with me. Never made me feel wanted and here I am where I can’t share it with anyone snd and it’s eating me from the inside. I love him a lot but he still says he doesn’t see a future with me.