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its getting bad again, in advance sorry for typing mistakes. but anyways im going back into my horrible mental state. im numb as hell but whatever. but im starting to feel more suicidal than normal. i think of killing myself everyday and possibly every hour too. i might start cutting again soon too. i jus ant handle this shit anymore. im faking everything and bottling up my feelings. i fucking hate this but i have to so i dont worry anyone. idk what to do with my life might end it soon or jus make marks all over indicating im still fighting but very much want to end it. im about 4 months clean now but im not sure how much longer i can go. i have my life and i hate the ppl in this world. no ones gonna miss me if i died anyways. i have no friends and my family doesnt give two fucks about me. better off dead im jus a waste of space and oxygen. so i might die soon who fucking knows :). anyways im done w this shit i need to rant more. im extremely lonely lol. sounds rude and weird idk jus lets not mention that. but im lonely and jus wish i had someone to trust and rant to but no i ahve no one bc i dont want others to feel this way and i dont want others to get involved in my problems bc i mean theyre mine. instead i decided to rant bc i cant bottle up shit for much longer. i feel like no one loves me which is prolly true, also it seems like no one cares ab me either lol. but im done for now might be back again one day. also if anyone needs to talk i always enjoy trying to help other w their problems so please contact my insta @ feitanstorturebuddy
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i did this on my actual account, bloodybandages
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