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tw// sexual assault
i was 18/19, to me i was still a child navigating through the world learning from her mistakes. i was insecure, vulnerable and i always had a hard time accepting myself for who i truly was. you and your friends saw that and took advantage of it. i never wanted to date you until your friend told me to, and i thought to myself maybe i wanted to date you (fast forward, i did not, i never wanted to, i liked you out of pressure and because it was nice thing to do, i told myself that feelings go beyond physical attraction, i was only 18 I DID NOT KNOW BETTER!). Your friends and you were always pestering me when we would have sex and i kept giving excuses when i should have just been honest and said "i do not want to have sex with you" and you should have took that for an answer. Constantly breathing down my fucking neck. you'd come over with the hopes of domsething happening between us. you were disgusting. you score 0 when it comes to hygiene. i told you no. why did u force yourself on me. why did u get mad when i said no. I FUCKING HATE YOU. I FUCKING HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU FUCKING GO TO HELL AND BURN YOU STUPID BASTARD. Why were u always trying to pressure me into having sex with you and always forcing me to do things i did not want to. why was no not enough? why did u no understand my no. WHY COULDNT U FUCKING DROP IT YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKING LUNATIC? I CANT LIVE IN PEACE WITHOUT HAVING THOUGHTS OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME. YOURE PROLLY OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME BUT IM TRYING SO HARD TO FUCKING FORGET BUT ITS SO HARD BCOS HEALING IS NOT LINEAR
i want to forgive you for me, you are not worth it. i forgive you and i'll forget you. you are not worth my headspace.
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i'm so sorry for what you went through.
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