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Okay I know this is like a really dumb thing to be sensitive about but for some reason it bothers me. So I’ve been dating my gf for a year now and it’s such a good relationship. I love her so much! But in the beginning of us talking we couldn’t meet each other for months and we wanted to wait until we met in person to actually become each other’s gfs. After we met and we were dating for a good while I found out that she hooked up with someone while we were in our “talking stage” and it got to me for some reason. I think it’s just because like I’ve never been someone’s first pick. Also because at the time she hooked up with her, I was already in love with my gf and I’m pretty sure she told me (drunkenly) that she was in love with me and she told me later it was true. I’m like a super loyal person even in talking stages too so I always feel a little hurt when the person I’m talking to does something with someone else. And the logical part of me knows it’s ridiculous to be upset about it since we weren’t exclusive and I really can’t be upset over it. Plus it was so far in the past that it shouldn’t matter. So like when I think about it my brain goes “it doesn’t matter” but I still start to feel sick. And it only really happens when I see something that reminds me of it (like a video of my gf with a hickey from the other girl). I’ve been actively trying to get over it too because I know it really doesn’t matter and I’ve made some progress but not a lot. Any advice?
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While you were in your talking stage you must have had the idea that the two of you were one on one and when you found out that she had hooked up with someone else this gave you a fright. Now you doubt her because she could have dumped you for the one she hooked up with. You don't really trust her and I wouldn't either. This is a situation that only time will heal. You need a lot of reassuring from her and I wonder if she is reassuring you and making you feel like it is all good now. Talk to her about this and let her know how you feel.
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