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I wish I was a more patient mother
I wash I was a better wife
I wish I could keep up with everything
I wish I would take care of myself
I wish medical debt didn’t happen, especially for children
I wish for financial freedom and an enjoyable life
I wish mental illness didn’t exist
I wish I didn’t suffer
I wish for so many thing and I’m lost. It’s a never ending cycle of wishing. I don’t know where to start. I get trapped in the nasty, horrible thoughts I make of myself. I project anger on my loved ones due to my absolute hatred for myself. My child deserves better, my husband as well. I’m not sure if the first steps to even take. Sure I could go to the doctors and be diagnosed with the illness I already have just to be told to shove pills down my throat and add more medical debt. Getting out is problematic with an overly active two year old and my severe anxiety. What exercises do I start with after not caring for myself for almost three years, and having a csection? How do I learn to love myself? How to I become a more patient mother and a better wife? How do I stop being so angry? Where do I start? Why are things so difficult? Why doesn’t anyone listen to me? I have so much going on in my head I can’t process it all. I’m overwhelmed constantly. I hate this. I hate life. I don’t hate living, but I hate life. Anxiety, depression, obesity, stress, everything piles up and I can’t seem to dig myself out. I’m stuck….
I wish I could make it out…..
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