Expressing Again (June 17 2021)

I am ready to go. I thought to myself.

I only have to repay my parent's hard work, and I can freely leave this world.

I am alone. I am lost.

Scared of falling into depravity with one misstep.

I cry with no tears, barely breathing well.

The pain numbs me,

yet I can feel everything within me breaking apart.

Looking back, I trained myself to receive such damages.

Yet, somehow, your entrance into my life

made me dependent on you.

If only I could have known that we would not last for long, I wouldn't have responded to your feelings.

But it is what it is.

Right now, I'm in the middle.

Between sinking and a breakthrough of forgetting the pain, our relationship has brought me.

I get it that you've secured yourself from feeling such.

You quickly found someone new.

Yes, I get it.

If you're happy, I'm alright with that.

Just at least show that I mattered to you.

It would've been nice if you could do that.

Yet no use in begging.

Anyways, I'll do my all to be well.

I will strive harder to reach my goals.

I will forget my memories of you, along with the pain and the doubtful love you gave me.

This may not be the last letter.

Yet, I'm hoping it will be.

Please do not contact me anymore.

FAREWELL.