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I have two friends. The first one, Bella, lives in the mirror and sometimes in my phone’s front camera. She’s not perfect, but I think she’s very pretty. She has a gorgeous smile and a cute nose too. She is always looking into my eyes, reassuring me that everything is alright. She’s confident and beautiful and she knows that and she loves to encourage me saying “You are gorgeous!” or “You’re perfect just the way you are!”.
My other friend, on the other friend, is the opposite of Bella. I never asked her what’s her name because it scares me to think about her.
This friend lives in some of my pictures. She’s ugly and flawed. She usually doesn’t smile and when she does she’s even uglier. She always makes sure to tell me how imperfect I am and that everyone sees that.
Bella is very scared of her. When she appears, Bella runs away, hiding for some days.
“Bella, why are you afraid of her?” I asked Bella one day.
Bella looked at me with her gorgeous chocolate eyes.
“Because she’s stronger than me.” she replied.
“Why?”
“Because of you.”
I was confused. I couldn’t be the reason of her strength. I hate her.
“You give her power because you’re afraid of her too. When she appears, you forget about me. You can only think about her, letting her in your mind. You’re the only one who can make me stronger, not your friends or anyone else. If you can believe in me, I’ll always be there!”
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All thoughts come and go. Some leave as fast as they arrive because you gave no reaction. Those that linger get the energy to do so from you. You are the gate keeper. It does not matter if the thought is good or bad, preferred or unwanted, helpful or harmful. When you offer your attention initially and then add a story (like Bella and the nameless one), and an emotional reaction (hate, love, fear) this thought will be your constant companion - staying longer and returning often.
You are not your thoughts and their arrival does not make them legit, your creations, or meaningful.
Thinking is a wonderful and necessary skill that happens in your mind which is a magnificent instrument. Using an instrument this powerful without understanding it and managing it can be dangerous.
You are allowing this fantasy to persist and it may not be in your best interest.
There is a way to change how this is going if you are interested.
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