What are you looking for?
6 months ago · · Depression
It's raining heavily outside and it matches my mood. Earlier I just went out and walked in the rain with my hood down. I came back soaked but it didn't matter to me. I decided to make a doctors appointment about my mental health tomorrow but now I'm realy nervous and I don't want to do it. I'm not fine the way I am. But at least if no one knows about it I can pretend I'm fine. I'm too uncomfortable talking to people about it I know I'll either end up laughing or crying. I just don't want to go.
I want to run away. Just put my shoes on, go out into the rain and run in a random direction until I'm lost. Hopefully I'll freeze to death or starve to death. I don't want to be here anymore and I really don't want to talk to anybody about it. I feel so alone all the time and I just can't deal with it anymore. I need to go to the doctor but I don't want to. I don't want to do anything anymore.