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That night we confessed, you confessed first. I knew you'd be difficult, I know you have issues, you're a deep, complicated person. I knew. I didn't mind.
I thought I could handle it. And I could, but at the end of the day I'm still just some dumb lovestruck teenager. Then I was like damn I didn't think someone could be this difficult.
Thing is, we agreed to stay friends, and work on ourselves first. And that was enough for me.
All I needed was for you to like me back.
If you were sure you liked me I could've handled everything. If you're confused, admit it. If you don't feel the same way, that's okay.
I even offered you time and space to think and you didn't.
You went from yes, to confused, to yes again, to yes but sometimes it goes away, to no, to I don't know, to no again.
I can't handle that.
What hurt more than the heartbreak? Was the emptiness. I thought our friendship could survive, but it's broken, like me.
I lost a best friend.
I'm grieving someone who's still alive.
One day we had it all. So many promises. And suddenly it's all gone. And we still keep in touch, and we still go to the same school. Yet I feel lonelier than ever.
All the bricks we built for years stripped away in a week.
And there's nothing we can do to go back to that safe haven.
I'm unsure, a part of me wants to cut you out completely. A part of me wants it all back. A part of me wants to salvage whatever we can out of all this.
We wanted to be in eachothers lives forever.
You can keep me forever, in memory. Good ones, bad ones. And whenever you remember me I hope you're reminded of the time you played with someone's feelings and broke their heart.
And I'll keep you forever, as a lesson. That I deserve better. That I can't fix people, and I shouldn't wait hopelessly for people to change.
We don't understand eachother.
And I will love you always in the sense I will always wish you well. I don't hate you at all. I hope you overcome your demons. I would've been there to support you, but I love myself too much to hurt myself being near you.
We're still kids. People grow up. People change. I wonder what the future holds?
I'm glad we met.
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