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I need help caring for my best friend while her mother neglects her needs
2 years ago · 0 · I need help, +5
370
Warning: I talk about eating disorders and mental illness.
My best friend is an amazing athlete. She plays for a hardcore softball team and is the captain of the volleyball team. Softball is her life though and she works out constantly, travels often, and goes on diets before games.
This last thing is starting to worry me. She has an unhealthy relationship with her body and is very insecure. Despite being physically active and eating right, and just generally maintaining a healthy lifestyle, she compares herself to other people and is insecure about her body type. Our friends tend to be on the smaller side (no idea why, it's just by chance) and her teammates are skinny too, most of them suffering from eating disorders. She looks at them and then at herself and can't see that her body is supposed to be the way that it is and that she's so beautiful. She is confused by why people like her so much, and her confidence is very low.
She told me yesterday that she thinks she has an eating disorder, and I would not be surprised if she did. She takes her diets very seriously, but not just to be healthy and effective for games. She wants to look like the other girls. There is so much pressure for her to be the best, for her career, for her college opportunities, and most importantly for her mother's approval. Her mom loves her, but blinds herself to my friend's needs. Her mom is also insecure, so she pushes my friend to achieve more and to push through injuries and struggles even if it hurts her more in the long run.
This has always made me angry. My friend deserves so much better and she should not be living and playing in pain. Her mom will often not take her to get medical help and instead push her to do more, to play on her injuries, to push aside mental health. She is very depressed and does not love herself and she needs to see a counselor. I've tried to help her see one multiple times, but her mom refuses to get her help. And now with the whole eating disorder thing, she needs help, not just from me and our friends, but from a professional. I can't stand to watch her suffer, but it hurts even more to know that she has realized what she needs, but is denied by the person who is supposed to want the best for her.
I can't get her what she deserves, I'm only a teenager. But I can do my best to support her and help her know what I feel when I'm with her. I've always tried to be anything she needs, a mother figure, a sister, a best friend. But I need help. What do I do to keep her safe?
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