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My Unsent Letter
11 months ago · · ex-boyfriend,
I know you will never see this but I just wanted to say that I really... liked you a lot.
You were my first legitimate boyfriend and you made me realize that it was possible to feel so much joy from just being in someone's presence.
I still remember all the little moments.
When you gave me a text, I would jump towards my phone with excitement.
When your hands touched mine, I would blush profusely.
When you smiled or laughed, my breath would catch...
It's weird how despite how short our relationship was, it has had a lasting impact on me.
I just wonder from time to time whether or not if we would be in a different position if we met when we were a bit older, just a bit more mature, and with better timing.
I feel like we could've been so much more.
Now we're going to different places and into a new chapter of our lives as university students. I genuinely wish you all the happiness in the world, and I hope that you will find success in whatever you do. You are a sweet and wonderful person and you will be loved. I hope the career path you choose works out for you and...I hope you find a lovely person for your significant other...you deserve it.
I will miss you... a lot if I'm being honest.
And to be completely frank, there's a small part of me that hopes that we will meet again in the future in comfortable positions and as mature adults. And I hope that we can connect again. If destiny allows it, I wish we could continue or restart what we once had.
But before/to do that, I'm going to continue to work hard and become a better person and achieve my goals first. Let's meet again when we're both where we want to be.
I don't know if I will ever have the courage to say these words to you but D I liked you far more than you may have realized and I can't help but sometimes wonder how we would have been if we hadn't rushed into our relationship and made wiser decisions.
I can no longer talk about these feelings even to my closest friends since they're probably sick of me talking about the what-ifs and what-nots.
D I wanted to put my feelings into this letter to organize the thoughts that have been spiraling in my head these days. It's funny how despite all this time, you still take up a part of my mind. Perhaps it's just infatuation, perhaps it's just fondness of old memories...I honestly have no idea.
I'm just going to close the letter here. D... I will miss you very much and 잘 살아 정말 고마웠어. 너 덕분에 행복했고 새로운 감정들을 느껴볼 수 있었어. 내가 미련덩어리라고 생각할 수도 있지만 그냥 그만큼 넌 나한테 큰 영향을 끼쳤고 첫사랑이라고 할 수 있는 것 같아. 더 잘 할 수 있었을텐데 하는 후회도 많이 남는만큼 나한테는 너무 소중한 추억이 많은 시간들이었어. 내가 많이 미안하고 고마웠어.
우리 꼭 미래에 더 성숙해진 모습으로 다시 만나자. 잘 지내.