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I have been dating this guy for nearly 2 months and things have been going great. I have told that I am not yet ready to get intimate with him but I have not told him why I am scared of sex. When I was 7-8 years old, my dad instructed my mum that she should get me mutilated by cutting my clit completely for religious and traditional reason. This is known as female genital mutilation(FGM). To this day, I still remember the pain and everything. I am 22 and I have never had sex because I fear I may have panic attack or get flash backs. I really don’t know how I can tell him all this and I’m not sure if he can handle it. I could really appreciate some advice x
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Oh no this is terrible. I've heard news reports of this kind of thing but it never registered in my head because it's so upsetting. Well, to answer your question, I suppose this is the sort of thing you should slowly lead up to. Maybe first let him know about your fear of intimacy, that's all. No need to blurt it all out at once because that itself can be traumatic if he doesn't respond right. But for now, maybe you can just say that due to an unpleasant event in the past, you are afraid of intimacy even though you still have strong feelings for him. See how reacts (is he understanding? or does he take it personally and become defensive?), and if it looks promising then you can probably take it from there. but very slowly. The right guy could turn everything around for you :)
ReplyThank you so much for your advice. He is very understanding person and I hope all will go well
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