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Fog of Heartache and Exhaustion
4 months ago · · Struggling
I’m struggling again. I have been fine for months and all of a sudden that feeling I try so hard to shake has came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. I am so tired. I always convince myself that things are going to get better. I am rational and strong, well that’s what I tell myself but really I don’t believe these lies I spin myself.
I don’t want to be the sad pathetic person I really am. So, I have stopped telling anyone that I feel so tired of this feeling that I picture ways it would stop. I imagine myself in deep waters, being pulled into its depths, slowly drifting asleep. I know I am being pathetic and should live up to the advice I so freely hand out to everyone. But the truth is, am so broken that am losing hope that I will ever just be able to happy. Truly happy. I feel like I really wasn’t made for this life. Everyone around me is moving forward and is embracing this life. While, I pretend, when in reality I couldn’t be more miserable.
I really don’t know what to do anymore, I have prayed, I have cried, I have pleaded that things get better.