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You got it all wrong. I was only trying to prevent you from resenting me...I didn't want you to resent me, because you couldn't, or didn't go to events like Homecoming and Prom, because I was halfway across the country. I didn't want you to give up any of those events in life, that we all remember fondly, years later. I wanted you to be able to have those happy memories, even if it was without me. I always wanted you. I wanted you to be my forever. I still want you to be my forever, even after your 2 marriages, even after my 40 years with another woman...even after 43 years of being without you. I did it because I loved you so much that your happiness meant, and still means more to me than my own...but that doesn't mean I am happy you are not mine. It doesn't mean I've stopped loving you, for even one moment. It doesn't mean I don't, even now, crave your forgiveness, and desire to hold you in my arms, one more time...forever. I also don't want to give up even the minimal contact we have now...having you in my life at all, even though it hurts to not be able to see you face to face, or hold you in my arms, or dance one more slow dance, is still better than having a life with a complete absence of _you_. I'd rather hurt than forget you...forget _us_...because I really do love you in ways I wasn't even aware were possible. As much as I want you to be happy, I also still want my own 'happy ending', yet that can never happen, without you.
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Wow. Heart touching 💕
ReplyThank you.
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