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My bf and I are in a rough patch. We've been together for awhile and since I've taken up a new hobby and haven't smoked weed in awhile, I've grown irritable, now unable to stop the flood of the past from bothering me because I'm sober enough to not ignore it anymore. My bf places me on a pedestal, I don't like it as it makes him seem week, forcing me to look down on him. It doesn't help that he feels like he can't make me happy or that he's unworthy of me. Someone that I've met since gaining this new hobby seems to have taken an interest in me. He now stays on days that I'm there and he usually leaves. I catch him staring during those moments. When we talk, he'll look at my with soft sultry eyes, biting his lip and smiles, giving me his full attention. He's also taking to touching my more, so gently on my forearms. I'm attracted to him, I don't know what to say. The difference between being looked at LIKE THAT to being looked up to in a similar way a dog begs is staggering. My bf and I are on basically a standby, could get better, could get worse. I just don't want to leave for "something better" when I could be wrong... or right. And i don't want to leave if it's just a phase and I can learn to find more things about my bf attractive, when he can grow into something more confident.
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Try to talk to your boyfriend and help him out to get sobber too; talking and explaining why are you doing it and what you want to achieve for yourself and also for the life you share together. If that doesn't push your relationship with him forward may be the better for both parties is to end the relationship and just stay as friends or something like that. I know being depressed is not a choice but getting better and feeling better is; he can choose to change that feeling if it's necessary.
ReplyWe have talked... a lot. He made a good effort for a couple of weeks but if he doesn't see solid results or enjoy what he's doing he tends to quit. I've made suggestions, tokd him what things I've tried, what's worked for me.... If I'm honest, the problems we have in our relationship have been the same for quite awhile. And we always resort to talking, then reverting back.
ReplyKnow this is trully hard but you too matter in here. If nothing else works it's better to let things go. I've been trough a similar situation but in my case I was the one pulling my partner down with me; I couldn't understand at first why things went like that but for me and for the love I've felt for my partner I decided to get help not because I wanted my partner back, because I knew I needed to find my own way to heal and also apologize... If I've ever got any chance with them again, I needed to get better and if I were to be with someone else I wouldn't want to hurt them like I did to my partner.
ReplyWe have talked... a lot. He made a good effort for a couple of weeks but if he doesn't see solid results or enjoy what he's doing he tends to quit. I've made suggestions, tokd him what things I've tried, what's worked for me.... If I'm honest, the problems we have in our relationship have been the same for quite awhile. And we always resort to talking, then reverting back.
Reply