Late night thoughts

Tw: harm and suicide

Depressed as hell I'm so frustrated. Everybody in my life has betrayed me in one way or another. Shunned me. Treated me like shit. Acted as if I don't matter AT ALL. I had a hell of a day today. Nobody to lean on. Like that song we all need somebody to lean on. Yeah. I got nobody. Others wanted to use me as a shoulder to lean on but in my time of need they're nowhere to be found and act like I don't matter now. What about all those times you went boo hoo hoo to me on my shoulder ****? Now I'm a fucking outcast nobody wants me unless it's to be used for their needs. then after it's like hmm are you still there you still exist ? why are you still here talking to me? Aka my dad too. He once told me 1. "go kill yourself" and 2 "adios" for me to be gone after he used me i was no longer needed. No good sob.

I was there for everybody and instead of helping me they'd rather return it with cruelty, mean tones and treatment and treat me like I'm garbage. I hope God visits that on them for them to know how it feels. It sucks being all alone abandoned forsaken nobody caring if you suicide or not 🔫🔪 🩸.

It's ok. I don't matter. right mom n dad?. Or aunt or **** or ***** or cousins or other uncles and aunts and friends who long ago ghosted me then replaced me. My body wouldn't be missed by anybody. Thanks for not caring everybody. I totally appreciate it 😔😢😭🩸. If people don't love you while you're alive they sure won't when you're dead. Don't give me this you're loved bullshit. Not a single human being has shown me love in so so long. Sure God and my dog does but that's it. That's just how i feel

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