What are you looking for?
You won't read it, but someone will..
2 months ago · · Breakup,
Two years ago we met. We were kids, only 17 & most would say we still are kids.. But I grew with you. I matured being in a relationship with you.. Not only did you save me from probably the darkest spot of my life.... You made me fall in love for the first time. You made me really love. To me, you were the sunshine on rainy days. To you? I was the rain on sunny days. We were from two different worlds.
You grew up without a parent figure to show you love. You were running around in the streets with your older relatives past midnight at only 9 years old. At 9 years old, past midnight, I was tucked safely in bed with my mom coming to check on me every now and then through the night...
You never felt what it was like to be loved truly and maybe that's why we didn't work.. Maybe I loved you harder than you were comfortable with.
You were genuinely my first everything. The first person I ever loved. The first person I moved in with. The first person I spent every waking minute with. The first person I had true, passionate love with. The first person to break my spirit.
You left me when things got hard for you, but for two years I put up with the mental and emotional abuse that came with loving you. And IN NO WAY was I perfect.. But we both know I didn't ever deserve even a quarter of what I went through. I just wish you could've remained patient with me like I did with you.
I got insecure and jealous. That pushed you away. But you don't think what pushed me to that point. You started adding random girls. You started downloading apps to chat with random females.. I even just found out you had a secret Instagram account that you didn't follow me on, but you followed over 200 girls & had no problem liking their photos...
It wasn't even a week after we broke up when you had someone else in what used to be OUR bed. I just wanted to be enough for you. So desperately. I loved you. I really loved you. I was talking about planning a future, and you had no intentions on fulfilling it. I just wanted your love in return. I cried to you every night that I just wish you'd love me back in some way... But you broke up with me.
Two times. I tried to escape reality two times being with you. I endured soooo much and I still stayed patient and loved you. But the second you cant take anymore you're done with me. You will never understand how much that hurts.
You're begging me to come home. You want me back. But I know you don't. I just know you miss me loving you. You miss knowing you could do whatever you wanted & I would stay. & I think what sucks even more is I'm actually considering going back to you. But I know I can't. Everyone was so proud of me for not being with you.
"I'm so happy for you girl, he never deserved you" Everyone saw it. You took advantage of my heart. You saved me. But you almost killed me. You hurt me worse than anyone ever could. You do not love me. You never have.
I've tried explaining to you how I feel, but you never listen. You just get mad and argue with me, or tell me "I'm sorry baby girl. I love you".. Since you won't listen, I'm posting this anonymously. Someone will.