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experiencing derealization again, it only happened for under an hour in the past but i've felt it at least 10 hours now i know lots of people feel it but i feel crazy ive been so anxious lately i cant fucking stand it I CANT FUCKIGN STAND IT nothing feels real i try to ground myself but it only works for a few minutes i was hitting myself on the head repeatedly earlier and it was so so so hard to resist the urge to drag my nails down my face and tear my skin and scream idk whats wrong with me why is this happening i thought my mental health was getting better i have anxiety and depression and adhd fyi this is just making me more suicidal i can't stand this nothing feels real the world feels fake i feel like i'm in a weird dream i can't wake from i wanna kill myself to escape. and i know some people feel this for days or weeks or months, but i can't even handle it for less than a day, what if the feeling stays longer? im scared
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so sorry. if you were amicable to it and it was physically possible, i'd give you a bear hug tight, the kind you don't pull away from and let linger awhile. it really does relieve some.
ReplyAll of your reality is established in your head - in the way you think about things. It is not imagined. It is real for you as long as you think it is.
Thoughts, all of them, come and go. Their arrival does not make them legit, your creations, or automatically meaningful. You make them so by first giving them attention and then adding some opinions, meaning, a story, and an emotional reaction. You don't realize this but this is what you do. It is what we all do for thoughts to persist and return often. This is true for good and bad thoughts, for wanted and unwanted thoughts, for helpful and for harmful thoughts.
You are not your thoughts. You are the gate keeper who gets to decide which thoughts are going to get considerations and that might even initiate some supporting actions. There is a way to become a more effective gate keeper. It starts by accepting that this might be true.
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