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I have a serious problem with this. I don't think I have ever forgiven myself about anything. Even small things that don't matter in the end, will keep me up at night.
I cannot forgive myself. Even with stuff like, not thinking before you speak and accidentally saying something rude to someone. Even if that someone has forgiven me, I can't forgive myself. I feel like the worst person on earth in that moment. I have no idea why. And the thing is, I haven't really done anything super bad in my life that would actually require some time to reflect and eventually self forgiveness.
It has become very tiring. I get anxiety about doing something wrong, because I know that after that will follow days of self hatred. Eventually forget about the thing and the self hatred cycle stops. But I try my best to avoid mistakes, because I don't want to hate myself.
Can anyone tell me why I can't forgive myself? Also, any advice on overcoming this?
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We like to think that we should have control over what happens next but we really don't. Things just happen, including our behavior. Every encounter is an opportunity to accept its reality (you can't undo it), to learn what you can, forgive all who disappoint (including yourself) and move on.
We are here (alive) to learn all that is necessary about relationships with others and to love all that lives unconditionally. The unconditional love is so important because it means that we don't need anything to complete us or to make us happy. This is our very nature when concerns subside.
Anxiety is not caused by some feared or actual circumstance. It is the body's reaction to incorrect thinking. Your point of view is the source of your suffering. Change your mind and your experiences will follow this lead.
Thoughts come and go, including the ones that currently worry you. Their arrival does not make them legit, your creations, or automatically meaningful. When you give them attention, add a story, and have an emotional reaction, you are giving the thought all of the energy it needs to persist and return often. You are not your thoughts. You are the gate keeper who decides which ones are worthy of your considerations and supporting actions. There is method to being an effective gate keeper.
Interested?
ReplyFocus on your emotions. ...
Acknowledge the mistake out loud. ...
Think of each mistake as a learning experience. ...
Give yourself permission to put this process on hold. ...
Have a conversation with your inner critic. ...
Notice when you are being self-critical.
ReplyThis could be sue to childhood trauma. I'm speaking from experience of course. Try and do some shadow work, when something make you upset pause for a moment and think of what in your past could relate to this to make you upset about it. You could also try meditation and exercise.
Remember that you're the hardest on yourself, which also means the everyone else will eventually forget about your little mistakes and probably don't mind them.
ReplyI do this as well, even with small things, I feel really bad about it for ages. If I'm told off by a teacher, I get so upset about it. then i think, that it dosent matter, because it wont affect me in the future. but if minor bad things dont affect the future, waht about the minor good thing???
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