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I get so hurt so easily. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but don't show my tears to anyone. This makes people think I have no heart, no perspective, no feelings. So then they completely disregard said feelings. I know I am in a situation that I got myself into but until I can get my head on straight it won't matter at all. My mental illness has taken reality away from me. It has given me perspective, yes, but with ignorance came bliss.
It is a really uncomfortable feeling to know that everyone around you are making choices with total disregard to the ones they hurt. It is scary to see how easily it is to get hurt unexpectedly from their disregard.
One moment at a time when the days get too long...
I just want to be a good girl... I don't want to hurt anymore... XXOO
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Thats why I am only around my partner. I dont want to be hurt by another human being. But keeping distance does help.
ReplyThank You, XXOO
I too only associate with my bestie/ partner. It does help but sometimes the loneliness is all consuming.
ReplyHiding your feelings always makes matters worse. Speak up and let it out. Your real friends will still stick with you even when you are ready to fight for yourself.
Happened to me for the most part of my life. Even today i think I should have followed my heart, should have fought for what I believed in. And finally when I did, I became more content and happy than I ever was. If you speak up, you will be happy. If not, everyone else would be.
ReplyThank you. XXOO
When it came down to it I was old enough that it took no time to find out who my friends were. Now, it is just me and my bestie. I have us locked in this prison of routine. I too find myself with more regrets as the days get shorter (because my years have gotten greater).
How do we ever get to the point of fighting for yourself when you were taught, trained, and feel valid in putting others first? As a child, I was taught to treat people how you wanted to be treated (not how they treat you), now... Well, we all know the world doesn't work that way but my silly tendencies keep leaving my heart shredded.
I find your writing inspiring. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone. XXOO
ReplyExcellent advice.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
ReplyMost appropriate quote ever!!! And just what I needed... I love the book of James...
XXOO
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