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i feel like i have no contoll over my life at all. when i turned 18 i had to move out of my mums house for finachial reasons, since then i've been inbetween 3 houses at a time, a maxium of 6 differet houses since then almost two years ago. at first it was fine but now i just want a home but i cant have that, its impossible. i feel impossible. so one but my boyfriend and my family have texted in months, none of my friends talk to me anymore, i dont know why. i asked once if i was being left out andthey said of course not and then never contacted me again. my boyfriends friends dont like me because theyre all bros before hoes. they dont like im around and my boyfriend once said they tease him about me. he said it was funny but being a used as a joke to make fun of someone for dating me hurts not matter if its funny or not. my boyfriend says what do i want him to do about it in a frustrated way. he says theyre so good with me and i said it sounds like im a dog. tonight i asked my sister if she was able to talk to me because i had no one else to talk to and she said she just planned on eating dinner, having a shower and going to bed. all i have is my boyfriend. i dont have my own home, a room with all my things in it, all my stuff is in storage. things i want to use i cant get out because its all burried inside a storage room. things i thought will only be in there for a few months that i havent seen in over a year. clothes, my favourite shoes, hobbies, pictures, awards. i feel so empty but i feel like ive cried too many times to my boyfriend. my last relationship left me because of my anxiety while i was going through a tough time and even though i know he wouldnt, im scared of being too emotional at one time. ive cried so much over the last year. this year was supposed to be my lucky year. i turned 19 and 19 is my lucky number. the year started with me knowing i would have to put down my beautiful baby boy, my cat. i cry evey time i think about him but no one knows that. i miss him so much i wish he was still here to help me through this. his ashes stay at my mums whie i dont have a permindent home. i just wish i had a way to carry him with me always. i just wish he was here, i think eveyrthing would be better if he was.
please i just want to be happy
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Your post is sad but feeling sorry for yourself will only bring on depression. Your boyfriend should never had told you that his friends tease him about you. He should stick up for you and make other friends. It is sad that your life is like this now but things will pick up so be strong and in a while things will be much better.
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