What are you looking for?
Welcome to the life of ME! So glad to have you here!
3 months ago · · SELF-LOVE,
My life has been nothing but an emotional rollercoaster ever since my pre-teenage years. Most of the time I feel like I got through life by the seat of my pants, and I often wonder how I made it to where I am. I have to keep in mind that this is my first time blogging, so you don't know anything about me. Let's start from the beginning. Before my 14th year of life, everything was how I thought life was supposed to be. I had married, loving parents, a loving family who got together on every holiday (because that's normal, right?), and I thought everything was right in the world, and that this was how I was going to live out the rest of my life. In a small town, with one stop light and one grocery store, Piggly Wiggly. Boy, was I wrong. People always say "Enjoy life while you're young." or "Stay young for as long as you can." Honestly, I would roll my eyes every time I heard that statement, because I was so hell-bent on growing up. I couldn't wait to have my own car, and to do what I wanted to do, without no one telling me that I couldn't.
Fast forward a couple years to my 16th year.. I was facing the struggle that I never thought would happen to me. Even though Divorce is so common in today's society, I never thought it would happen to me. Switching schools, adjusting to sharing my life with people I wasn't used to, and actually being welcoming to them, were some of the hardest things I had to do in that time of my life. It definitely wasn't easy making those kind of adjustments and welcoming one of the most darkest things into my life.. Depression.
Depression is a term that gets thrown around so easily in today's society. What does Google say the meaning of Depression is defined as? Depression is defined as feelings of severe despondency and dejection. Let's dig into that statement even further. What is Despondency? A state of low spirits caused by loss of hope or courage. What is Dejection? A sad and depressed state, or low spirits. What do those two words have in common..? You guessed it! Low Spirits. It all begins with low spirits. How does one start to have a low spirit? Heartbreak, loss of a loved one, whether it's a person or a pet, or unexpected changes. Also, there are so many more contributing factors, that's just the top three that came to mind.
Personally, I feel like the teenage years are some of the most challenging times in one's life. So many changes and so many opportunities. Some changes that really affected me were watching my father get remarried, switching schools after my sophomore year and having to make a new life for myself. As a teenager, you struggle with so much in today's society. Body Image. Popularity Status. Relationships. Meeting other peoples expectations. All of those "issues" seem like such a burden in your teenage years, but as you get older, at least for me, I could see how unimportant all of those "issues" are.
I never thought life would seem much easier until I graduated High School and faced the real world. I got a real job, made decent money, and everything started to fall into place. Occasionally, sadness and darkness would creep in and 99% of the time, I was able to defeat it. However, that one time, that 1%, knocked me off my feet. I didn't feel like doing anything with my life. I just woke up, went to work, came home and slept, and woke up just to do it all over again. I was prepared to live my whole life that way.
Fast forward to August of 2019. I wasn't in the best spirits, but I was living life the best way I knew how. I would take anti-depressants every morning just to make it through the day. Until one day, when I wanted to get a simple change in my life. Something as simple as braces. Boy, are those babies expensive. I went to the dentist, for the first time, got a consultation and a referral to the best orthodontist, all in the same day. I don't remember much about 2019, but I know I will always remember the beautiful, welcoming smile that I saw when I walked into the orthodontist office for the first time.
It's hard to believe that I have had these braces for a little over two years now.. It is so funny how time flies. My smile isn't the only thing that has changed over the years. The smile I mentioned just a little bit ago, happens to belong to my best friend and #1 supporter. She has helped me in so many ways, and I will always be thankful to her for all she has done for me. She helped me blossom into who I am today. No matter how many times I thank her, it will never be enough.
I want to leave you with a little reminder.. no matter how dark life gets, no matter how bad things seem, no matter how much life seems to suck, I promise all things will get better. It may not be today or tomorrow, or even 7 months from now, but I promise, the stars will align, and the love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for you will shine through and show you the plan that was made for you all along.
You are needed.
You are loved.
You are important.