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I don't know what I am,
Or what my favorite color is
Or what my style is
Or what I want to do in the future
Or why my emotions keep spiraling out of control
Or what my insecurities are about, or why I am confused about that in the first place and if they really are insecurites or something else.
I can't answer,
Basic questions
And sometimes it seems I will never get better no matter how much I wish
I can't put the effort in no matter how hard I try
But since I don't know who I am
Or what to do
Then all I can tell is
I haven't met my true self yet
This isn't really me, is it?
Am I lying to myself for pity, or do I truly have zero perception on myself.
I have a feeling that the issue lying behind this is something that I do not want to accept.
I feel bad for writing it, because what if I am truly faking all this? But nontheless, I need help. And answers.
...
I hope I meet me soon!
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Hello fellow human being.
Its common for humans to not know who they are. Its okay though. How do you find more about yourself? Simple. Focus on your emotion. For example, your favorite color- look at each color and see how you feel about it. My favorite color is neon green. How do I know? I always end up gravitating to it. I thought I liked sky blue. But after I chose sky blue, I couldnt keep thinking about neon green. Sure sky blue is nice but I cant deny neon green. Another example, your style- whats a clothing you always end up choosing? For me, I love black, grey, and white shirt & grey, black joggings. Thats my style. I tried many styles- skirts, dresses, whatever is hot fashion. Sure its nice, sure my eyes love them but nothing makes me feel more at peace than the clothes I love.
I think “what I want to do in the future” is a tricky question. I recommend keeping maximum of 2- so its not confusing on your brain. But it is okay to change those two to something else and its okay to not have one either. I personally only have traveling as something I want to do in the future.
You asked “why my emotions keep spiraling out of control”- its due to not knowing who you are. How can you choose what to do if you are a blank slate- nothing can be used to guide to a solution?
You can decide whether things are insecurities or something else by asking the question, “do I want other people to know about this? Am i okay with others talking about this thing about me?” If its no- its a insecurity.
Finally, you find yourself by facing many different scenarios- and keeping track of how you respond and the reason why you respond that way. Answer is there- you just havent been training. Brain tend to not explain the reason behind a solution. Like a math problem. Sometimes it shows the answer but it doesnt show the process that got to that answer. But lucky for you, if you think about it, brain will tell you the reason behind the solution. Good luck to you.
ReplyHey there! Don’t worry, we are all confused sometimes into who we are or what we want, but you should always talk to a trusted friend, partner, parents or anyone you actually trust, if you aren’t comfortable enough or don’t have the courage to talk to anyone, look at what you like, what’s your interest, is it art? Is it technology, like making videos?or maybe writing a story or poetry, maybe something like reading novels? You may say I don’t know, you should try everything to find what you love, what you enjoy watching what you enjoy coloring you design with, it’s all about trying, try, try, try and I promise you’ll figure it out!
Love from Kath
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