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Little Jess,
I'm sorry that you haven't spent your years playing and running around, unbothered by your appearance and just focused on having fun. I'm sorry you look at yourself and only see whats wrong. You shouldn't have to feel that way. Your family, your culture has failed you. Your childhood was taken away from you and burdened with pressure you shouldn't yet have felt. You will be taught that your exterior equals your worth, no ifs, no buts. You are only as good as others perceive you. You'll spend your life trying to fix yourself, so that just maybe, maybe this time you'll be enough.
But the thing is, you shouldn't have to destroy yourself to gain the approval of others. Maybe one day you'll learn that so much as you try, it will never be worthwhile. It is not your burden to carry. Let it go, live your life unapologetically. You only get one. Why waste it at war with yourself.
Big Jess
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