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Why can't I get you out of my head? It's crazy to me that I still like you. The thing is, you stopped liking me last year. When one of my friends told me, I was sad and disappointed. I don't think I showed it on my face though. I truly thought that you would like me for a very long time. Obviously I wasn't thinking straight. But still, I have so many good memories from the nice things you said, the way you looked at me, how you made me laugh. I wish things could go back to the way they used to be...
Anyway, after finding out you stopped liking me, I thought that there was no point in liking you or having a crush on you anymore. So, I decided to try to get over you. To move on. I even made myself think that I was beginning to like someone else. It was fake though. After a while, I realised that I didn't actually like that person. I only liked the idea of them possibly liking me... I missed the feelings I got when we were in the same space, when we liked each other... I missed knowing that someone thought that I was a great person and the fact that I could act myself around you...
To be honest, I think that I just simply missed you. I also missed all of the experiences. The feelings. The excitement to see you every day at school. The laughs. The smiles. The compliments. The happiness.
You were so nice to me when no one else was at school. You gave me attention and put in the time to listen to me speak. I felt valued and worth so so much. I had more hopes and dreams because of you. You cared for me and appreciated me for who I am. I also felt like you were basically my closest friend, but at the same time, you were more than that. I truly liked you. This made me feel lonely though... because you no longer like me back...
Now, after about a year since you stopped liking me, I can't get you out of my head. It is driving me crazy. I try distracting myself but I can't stop thinking of what could have been... or what could be.
Also, because we have to learn from home now and do school online, I haven't been able to see you in person at school anymore. I always think about how you're doing and what you could be up to. I wonder whether you like someone who isn't me, at this very moment.
I wish you would think about me as well though. Can't you just remember all the good times we had and perhaps how special I made you feel?? Is it possible for you to start liking me again?? You have already liked me once... so why not another time??
I thought that I could ignore my feelings at the start but I cannot. I have realised that I probably won't get over you for a long time. Maybe I don't want to? Maybe I am feeling so lonely that I am clinging on to the past where I felt loved. Who knows. But maybe I am longing for you to come back to me. Maybe I am waiting... However, this is probably a waste of my time. But I so desperately want to feel everything again with you. To experience all of the good times again. To smile when you talk about nonsense things as you sometimes do. I want it to have lasted. I want it all again.
So anyway, please, just know that I still care for you. I think I will always have you in my heart. Or more realistically, in my head. ;)
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<3
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