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I don't know what I am doing here, idk who i am anymore, idk what's gonna happen, idk anything.
It happened again. I was sexually abused again.. I have been experiencing this since the age of 5. was first time abused when i was a child, had gone through lots of abuse, from sexual, to physical to verbal and emotional and i don't know how i am still alive, people in my life have done so much damage to me that i don't feel myself anymore. I have been going through series of trauma including grief, bullying, harrassment, abuse and asualt, and now i am at the point where i don't want to continue with this anymore, yes i have stood up for myself in past and fought for myself, but i feel i am done now. i can't be happy anymore, it is constant pain, constant anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares , stress...i had my goals, some academic goals and it's all gone now. i am just surviving and that too because i have a small job. i live by myself...i am hurt, very much hurt. this is so unfair and i just feel i am done now (i am safe currently) but the thoughts never leave me and now it happened again, he did it again....no one believed me... not even the law. I am 19 and suffering through so much pain my whole life and i don't see it is gonna end, i can't fight for myself anymore, it's an everyday struggle and i just feel done with all this.
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