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Any advice wellcome.
So I am in a difficult situation. I had to finish my Ph.D. last year. I could not because my advisor did not allow me. This year he allowed me but during the whole dissertation defense he was putting me down.
We had a meeting yesterday, where he started with "you did not say thank you when I sent you my review". and he also said he does not understand why I am angry on him. I am sure he knows I want to rid off him because the question he gave me suggests it. so again - he started with "you should consider if you want to continue in your studies" and when I asked him - what sources I should use (because he gave me ANOTHER vision of my dissertation) he said "I do not know, it is your research" his ideas are not realistic. He does not help me, he puts me down. he denigrates my work. He spread bad things about me in the department. I am tired. I was talking with pro-dean (I said I am tired and I did not want to talk about what my advisor does) and he seems to be very surprised/shocked. My advisor did not lead me, I was working on my own and this is the result. I have the last few months to rewrite the thesis and find a new advisor... ugh. My advisor said he will talk about my future with another pro-dean and the head of department on the 17th of September, but - it sounded more like a threat....what to do? what to do? I am worried I will not find any other advisor... or he will not let me go... or he will try to humiliate me more...he is like a predator - popular between members of the department and students but between eyes to eyes he is a monster... I am worried they will not believe me...
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This seems like a really stressful situation, I would recommend you to save proofs that he indeed did not help you at all (screenshot emails, dms of him denning you help, no response) if you’re able to. That way people that won’t believe in you would be bluntly lying against facts —and will just look stupid, between you and I.
Also, maybe you could write an abuse report to the police? (I don’t know if this works in your country, sorry).
Anyway, know that it is not your fault and I believe you’re capable of finishing your PhD, you sounds determined to do so.
(Even if he try to humiliate you, show you are the one in the right place if you can. That he —by trying to humiliate you— just proved your point: he did not help you at all.)
ReplyWishing you strength! Does your university maybe have an equal opportunities office or something like that, you could talk to? Maybe it would be good to put some kind of official, 'neutral' person in the conversation, if you can't get out of the situation without confronting him.
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