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I have been a normal kid living in a normal life, with my normal family in my normal school and I hate it. I wish I could learn more when I was younger so I wont get stuck at this stage of my life. Many say I am still young and I still have chances but all the things happenning right now is burning me and my family slowly to ashes. If I had learn piano when I was small, then I would be mastered right now cause now I cant afford to go for it. If I havent quit the wushu class, I could be in stage 5 right now and I am too embrassed to go back. If I hadnt back down at the bully back then and wasted so much time to supress my anger on gacha life, I wouldnt have to suffer in these grade and this school right now. If only I could have the courage to join robotics club, I would have been diving in my interest right now instead of looking at them suceed in their life jeolously. If I didnt break up with my friend at chinese culture club, they should have been my bff right now. If only time could go back to those time, I wouldnt been siting at the laptop miserabely typing on screen right now. If only I dont always think about tomorrow and yesterday instead of today, I wouldnt have suffering right now. If only I didnt procrastinate and try to restart my life again and again on tomorrow and thinking everything will be better tomorrow, I will not be panicked on this moment right now. I am jealous of my friends, family, schoolmates, everybody for having a better life than mine and whenever I try to make it better, I still cant control myself and keep turning back into my old disgusting self form. I wish to die but didnt have the courage to die. I wish to be positive but seems like the world keep showing me the negative side.I know I am much more privelleged than other people in this world but I know too, myself I am living my "privelleged life" badly than any others in this world.
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