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2 days ago · · Stress,
Yesterday I felt okay after a period of sadness and I was a bit afraid to be happy because what if I'm sad again? I actually thought I would be wrong, that I am just overthinking but a few hours later, I cried. I dont know why I was so surprised that it happened when I'd already predicted it? its just kinda funny and not at the same time that I was right lol. And it happened again today! I woke up thinking that okay, I wont ruin this day, I will try to be okay even though I'm afraid and then I cried.. I cannot believe it. it just makes me think.. why am I even trying? its like someone is joking with me, I feel like an idiot right now. What makes me feel like a bigger idiot though, is the fact that I still want to try because part of me is hoping that it will be different this time.
I will probably regret posting this in a few hours but oh well....