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I sat in my living room. For almost a month I read and watched everything I could find on Suicide and the afterlife. The afterlife sounded so blissful and slowly, I didn't realize just how comfortable I got with the thought of death. It was the big scary monster I was so afraid of months ago! Now it was a gentle friend, guiding me on what exactly to do!
One evening I sat in my living room and triggered by an old matter was the last push I needed. I had a lot of pills in the house so I grabbed them and held them in my hands. As I was crying and upset not even the thought of the people I love dearly could shake off or pull me from the dark place.
Then my phone rang, just like in the movies, it was a friend asking if I have a thread - "How random". She lives a 2 minute walk from me. Hearing my breaking voice she immediately said she was coming... Normally, I had taught myself how to clear my throat and talk normal on phone without a hint of emotion being traced. This time was different. Not only was I not able to hold it back, I was unable to breath...
*Part two* COMING NEXT WEEK
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A similar thing happened to me once. Years ago when I was sixteen I was suicidal and swallowed a whole pile of pills. Same as you the thought of any people or pets that I loved couldn't stop me. Then the phone rang and it was a friend. I told her what I had done and a few minutes later the police were at my door. They took me to hospital where I must have had my stomach pumped because I stayed alive.
I am looking forward to part two.
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