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im sick... but its not cancerous or something serous, i envy people a lot..even my friends and family, i feel jealous whenever they accomplish something great. i feel telling some mean words about them just because they accomplish great things in their lives. But i cant hurt them, i cant tell them that im jealous because i want what they have, i cant tell them cause that will hurt them and i dont want that. i love my friendds and family, i value them so much. but its not fair that im here still thinking about some things that i should have done but cant do it cause fear is not letting me go. i dont blame them nor hate them, i just wish that someday i can be happy and sucessful just like them you know? im stuck and i dont know how to get out. i dont know the first move, im scared that ill end up alone again.
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