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she was beautiful. she still is. her eyes, when she looked away, and her big, beautiful, kissable lips, and her shoulders.
i want to be with her still. but I'm afraid she doesn't want me, or that she's managed to convince herself that she's attracted to me when she really isn't.
she couldn't get over her ex. he was an awful person. i rocked her through her abortion, her verbally and physically abused self, the tines when she opened up to me about the shit she was going through. it was so rare for her to talk but she opened up for ME, for me, nobody. she made me feel wanted, like i was worth it, like i was someone worthy of love and attraction. like i was a prize.
I miss her. She made me want to have a fairytale romance, but I was afraid that was only my dream. Like maybe she just wanted me for show, so she could say 'look, here's my girlfriend.'
I hated that feeling. But I hate not being with her even more. I didn't know I could feel like this about a person.
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