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I don't understand life
3 months ago · · Stress,
I feel like I'm fooling everyone around me. I've managed to fool every single person and made them believe that I am someone I am not.
Me myself don't know who I really am. What do I like? What do I enjoy? What do I want?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
I just don't know anything.
And I fool everyone into thinking that I am, indeed, a normal human being.
The thing is, I don't know. I don't know who I am. WHAT I am.
Is it normal? Feeling lost all the time. Not knowing which step to take. I can't decide. I can't seem to care enough about any of the options. Or maybe I care too much about taking the wrong one. When I don't even know what is supposed to mean "wrong".
I am scared. Of me. Of life.
I don't want to live. I've been thinking about this a lot. But I also don't want to die, that's the thing. I just, need the world to stop, I guess. Even if sometimes I feel like eating the world like I am the owner of the world... I think I really need it to stop.
Most of the time I don't even know what I am feeling. It is just too much, and then, too little. Almost as if I wasn't alive. I feel completely empty and I wonder if I have become a rock.
Times flies but at the same time days can't be longer.
I feel like a prisoner.
I fool everyone.
I don't know.