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2 months ago · · Stress, · Explicit
I think I lost a friend today... A very close one at that. To be fair, he had never treated me nicely in the first place and didn't even meet the bare minimum as a friend. But I kept him around because I really liked him and he didn't have many other friends. He said that I was one of the very few people there for him so I wanted to stay and be his friend. I tried overlooking all those red flags and mishaps he would cause, just so I could continue being his friend. Now, I wish I had not looked over those red flags. Today, I tried to calmly confront him about talking shit about me behind my back. I wasn't angry or upset, I just wanted to talk to him about it. It was the first time in my entire life I had stuck up for myself. It felt good at the time, but now it is making me miserable. He stormed off in anger, frustrated that he got caught. Fast forward to later, he is ignoring me and not wanting to reason with me. I just wanted to have a conversation, not a fight. He is now bragging to the people in his lunch period (not even friends) about how he has "leverage" over me and that he will win this fight. His exact words were: "I'm so f*cking pissed off at her... I will win this fight, I have dirt on her, I'll expose all her secrets." I'm just so disappointed... He started telling everyone what those secrets were and I feel like today, I spent most of my day cleaning up after this mess. He was my bestfriend... I trusted him with everything that is why he knows my secrets. Now, he is trying to out me to the whole school (telling people my sexuality when I am not open about it yet.) And so much more. He can just tell everyone so many things to bring me down. For something so insignificant. This is why I have trust issues in the first place. I am NEVER opening up to anyone ever again. Mark my fucking words. I am done giving others slight trust. I will forever be a mystery I don't care anymore. He was supposed to be a good friend, he was supposed to be different from the people in my past. But nope, he was just like the rest. I am so upset with myself for falling for it again.