What are you looking for?
3 months ago · · Stress,
“How does it feel to finally accomplish all of your goals?”
Ymir: “Well i wouldn't say I've accomplished all my goals but i inevitably reached some i need to do, at the end i feel proud.
“Very well but growing up in trauma. Must've been hard huh?...”
Ymir responded, “absolutely”
“What affected you the most in life?”
Ymir’s response was, “My fathers abandonment which is where it all started”
“Why is that?”
Ymir took a sigh and said, “When I was young, three years old, I still remembered somehow and I understood what was going on completely… I don't know how, I honestly don't understand it myself but I know for sure that I wanted fatherly love as a child and that's where all my pain started”
Can you explain what you mean by the beginning of your pain?
Ymir: “All the things I did in life I regret are consequences of that abandonment, I had so much hatred and bitterness because of that.”
Would you ever want to find him?
“I don't know… I believe I would only look to him for an explanation on why he was the way he was when I was young, why he had to abandon me, and I just want to hear his side of the story. I’m not the type to beg for anyone anymore but that's what I've wanted after leaving me, just why?”
Did this ever affect your love interests?
Ymir: “Absolutely, I could never have a stable relationship by the fact that I wanted a person to love me the way I wished to be loved by my own father and understand that I'm trying hard to prove that I can be better than him… it's like it was always a competition in my heart .”
Do people ever compare you to him?
Ymir: “I was yes”
Ymir: “Mostly by my physical appearance, i was apparently identical to him, besides my facial features it was my hands as well when i would shake someone's hands and be like “wow you look just like your father and your hands…” And it would go on from there. Sometimes it felt nice to talk about my dad in a good way and how I would be just like him when I grew up but...I knew he wasn't such a good person. I would always wonder if those people were conscious of what they were saying… do they even actually know my father?”
If he came up to you, what are the words you want to hear coming out of his mouth?
Ymir: “You know I actually want to feel what it feels like for someone to mean I Love You…”