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It was in 2017 when I met you in medical school. Back then, I was lost and trying to find my way around a sea of strangers I had to get to know one way or another. I was a transferee. An outsider. Not an outcast, technically.
After a few weeks, I found myself seated somewhere in the back--the very same row where you sit in. I got to know the person seated in between us because our last names were in the same alphabet. But you? Never got to truly talk to you. You were aloof and always looked moody, not to mention always late to class.
I was the loud one and you were the quiet one, except when you were joking around with your friends. That's how it was. Life went on like that. We were just a seat apart but it felt as if we were worlds apart.
The equilibrium was shattered, however, when you talked to me out of nowhere. I was busy trying to wipe my sweat away (from being out in the sun, sheesh) while waiting in line to write on the attendance. You just talked to me all of a sudden asking why I was sweating so much. I was flustered, obviously.
'What a stupid question.' I thought.
From then, it started. A new cycle began. Whenever I had leftover food, you always finished it for me. Whenever I went to buy food, I'd buy extra just so you could eat properly because skipping meals were your expertise. We became friends like that. I was ill tempered while you were hotheaded. What a very bad combination, I must say.
Our classmates began to notice how close we were even though you get on my nerves most of the time. You were a prideful person and tend to look down on others but you never did that with me. Well, if you had, I would have punched you. Hmp.
A wholed year passed like that and by some miracle, I was promoted to clerkship. In your case, it wasn't surprising. You were one of the smartest in the class and quite frankly a big nerd.
During the 1st 2 months of clerkship, we were miles apart. While you were rotating at the mothership, I was at the affiliated hospitals dying from fatigue day by day. Clerkship was grueling and unforgiving but at times rewarding. I became busy with my life and so were you, until one day my roommate texted me.
"They broke up. Check on him. He looks like the walking dead." Was what I read from the text message. You were in a long term relationship and were in the talks of marriage. I was worried, of course. Who wouldn't be? You were a good friend of mine, no matter how annoying you were.
I asked how you were and you replied days later with a generic, "I'm fine." I bit my lip, contemplating. There was nothing I can do till I come back 2 months later so I just shrugged my worries away.
'I hope you're ok.' I could only utter a small prayer for you and then life swallowed me whole again.
Two months later and I finally see you. Funny that we had both lost weight but looking at you, I knew you were tearing at the seams. You looked jaded and broken. Being the busybody I was, I knew I had to do something somehow. So I cared for you in the only way I know how. Feeding you. It sounds strange but that's how our friendship started. I made it a point to eat together, to stay at our quarters with you even though I wasn't on duty. I was there whenever you called.
A mere month later and you were dating again but we were still close. I just let you be even when you were drowning yourself with dating apps and dates. It was how you coped with the heartbreak. At the time, I didn't know how big of a mistake it was to let you run wild and free but I was busy with my own life as well.
It was in July when something changed. A shift you could say. Our friendship turned to some weird direction I was not prepared for. I was at a small gathering at a resident's house when my messenger popped up. It was you.
"What're you doing?" You asked.
I was a bit tipsy when I answered, "Drinking with the other residents."
It took a while before you replied, "Wanna drink with me sometime?"
Being the idiot I was of course I agreed. "Sure why not." I didn't think much of it. It was just drinking. Everyone did it.
"What will you bet?" You asked.
My heart froze. "Bet?"
"Yeah, if you lose, what will you bet?" To be honest, I was only a naive little girl at the time. I had no boyfriend since birth and I had no flirty bone in my body.
"What will you bet?" I challenged him. I was looking through the net of lists for drinking game bets. The list was something of the sort: drinking tequilla shots, doing some stupid dare, etc. Then he answered.
"Kiss shot."
Vfib on the way, excuse me.
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