What are you looking for?
in a lonely world.
2 years ago · · Need Advice,
before I start writing this, can I just say adele's music is the most healing thing on earth.
anywayssss, as much as I love my independence, it's gotten too far to the point where I literally have no friends. It's the silence at night that hits the most but for anyone who has never had any friends in their life at one point, please tell me how you survive. It's come to a point where I know I have all this time in the world to be alone but I also didn't ask for this at all. I've tried talking to people online but they end up being such a nut case or just can't seem to sit at ease with me that I usually have to leave them.
For as long as I can remember, having friends never came easy to me. I always tried my best to give everything to people but I always had to a)run away or b) they'd leave me. It feels like I've done something completely wrong all my life to never have anyone truly be there for me or care for me now.
I have spoken to so so many people in my life from my past to see if they'd be any reconnection, but I figured til now that I always ended up being the one putting in the effort and as a result I now know that once I did nothing, I simply got nothing. Not a single message, not a single call, not a single response from anyone.
I am still learning everyday to be at ease with being okay with being alone. But to be honest it's just so hard not having a single person to talk to or interact with. It feels like I shouldn't being trying so hard anymore because it hurts to hear/not hear what people have to say. Let me know if you have gone through anything similar or any advice?