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Am I paranoid?
1 year ago · 5 · Love, +3
I was in a very toxic relationship my ex used to ignore me when he's mad never say sorry and made me cry everyday for 1 year and a half I loved him so much but he made me go through so much pain he's a narcassit but thank god I was brave enough to break up with him I moved on and now I have a boyfriend he's such a sweetheart we've known each other for so long but started dating for like a month ago he's treating me like a queen but I can't fully trust him because of what my ex did to me I always say " what if this is just the honeymoon phase and he'll end up treating me worse than my ex" I always keep thinking about the worst case scenarios even tho I knew damn well that he loves me so much but I'm so scared of disappointment help me what should I do?
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Don't make the sweetheart suffer for what the narcissist did.Reply
This is a chance you take and time will tell.Reply
This happens when we feel powerless about our own reality and we think that we cant avoid these potential negative outcomes so we better focus on prepering for that pain.It is like a protective mecaniscm because in out mind if we know what to expect it wont hurt so bad.Firs thing that your have to do is to stop worrying about worrying.Actknowledge your anxious thoughts and feeling and dont try to ignore,fight or control them.Take time to release resistance .Dont resist yourself by trying to tell yourself to stop worrying .That makes you pay extra attention to the very same thought.Convince yourself that worry does not serve a positive purpose.You can not give up worry all at once but you will never give it up if it still serves you.Try to stay present in the moment because most of the time when we worry we are projecting ourself into the future or into the past.Try to enjoy this very moment,and allow him to love you and love yourself.Know that you deserve to be loved and treated this way.Be thankful for your boyfriend right now and give him love ,and start loving yourself more than everything,start appreciating the way that you reflect love,the way that you take care and all the little things that make yu you.Fall in love with every part of yourself so you wont need to trust that he will never leave you but you will trust yourself enought to know that even if he does i will be complete on my own.Wr can never know for sure if a person is there for a reason ,for a season or for a lifetime all we can do is give love and appreciate everything that they bring into our lives and never forget that everything happens for a reason.Sending you lots of love and positivity.Reply
A few things...
It's normal to detest guys after a breakup. You're flinging around a lot of accusations and actual psychological diagnoses, which makes me think you're just really angry.
It's normal to put your best foot forward early on, so expect the coronation as queen to be short-lived. In EVERY relationship in your ENTIRE life. You're doing the same, I guarantee it. If you're not treating him like gold, then you're at least containing the crazy for him.
Someday he will want to do something other than cater to your whims. Someday he will see you in sweatpants.
Also, when a guy goes silent, that means that he has looked into his toolkit to deal with whatever is being thrown at him and he has run out of tools. It also might mean he wants to lash out physically and is holding back. You want this <i>holding back</i> feature in a guy.Reply
I think you should enjoy the moment that you are in right now, People are different your ex really sucked I'm sure your current boyfriend will treat you better I know that you wouldn't get your past off your mind that easily but try step by step of forgetting those bad memories and stick to the present ok? I don't know if this is gonna help but I tried my best, Have the best life you've ever wanted:)Reply