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I'm afraid to sounds needy to tell my IRL friends about it, so I resort to begging in online anonymous rant place. It's a cowardly thing to do, and I admit I feel like a beggar while writing this but... I just desperately want someone to congratulate me, tell me that I'm doing a great job to stay alive.
My family used to be very wealthy. I used to pay for my outings with all of my friends. One day my family no longer wealthy as we used to be, and I accidentally heard from my friends that they never like me in the first place aside from my family money. They talk about how gloomy and nerdy and unfashionable I look and how they cant stand my introvert personality.
I admit, my personality isnt the best. I'm not expressive and it take a long time for me to express my mind into words. I often told that i'm too stiff and trying too hard to be polite. But when i talk in informal languange (i'm from asia, we have formal and informal languange) I sounds really harsh like country bumpkin (which I am, actually).
And I cried often when I fail to express my anger.
I just want to have a friend. I want to have a close friend who will play with me and just have a good time with. I have one great online friend but we never met in real life. So I'm scared to call our friendship real.
I am suicidal. No one knows how often I selfie harm and failed to commit it. I have cancer that I havent tell my family to and I planned to hide it from them.
It's 15:48 in my place and the only one who congratulate me is my family. I wish to have someone else to tell me "happy birthday" sincerely.
I just want someone to love me, for a day.
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Happy Birthday! You are Loved <3
ReplyHappy birthday to you! My birthday wish to you is that you go into remission, and your doctor can help you with your depression. God loves you and wants you to have Him always in your life.
Replyhappy Birthday!!! I'm glad you're still here, I hope you geqt wqell soon
ReplyHappy birthday dear, many many happy returns of the day.
And as you can see, your family wished you that means they are grateful for your existence. So don't give up. You are the best
ReplyHappy birthday sweet soul. Big, tight, squeezy hugs! Love you!!!❤️💕❤️💕❤️
ReplyHappy birthday
ReplyHAPPY BIRTHDAYYY!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOURSELFFF ON THIS EPICCC DAYYYY AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T FORGET THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE, YOU ARE LOVED !!!!!!!!
(hope the caps-lock doesn't rub you the wrong way, I just want to wish you a very tremendous birthday!!!)
ReplyHappy birthday swiftie ❤️❤️
But if your family remembered ur birthday u are lucky. And u truly should be thankful for having them.
I think u should talk with ur family about ur illness because moral support is important.
And please don't try to heart yourself ever again.
Suicide is not a solution and death is not an escape.
This life is hard but we are going to live it and we'll always try our best to have happy moments.
ReplyHappy birthday you beautiful soul :)
I want to let you know that you are not alone.There are a lot of people that feel lonely and unlovable,i have been in that phase myself and the firs step that i took in order to change something was to accept all parts of myself,all the things that made me me ,all the thoughts that i thought about myself even the most negative one ,i accepted them.I used to say all the horrible things to myself and i was in desperate need to be loved.Then i tried to love myself,i saw that i needed to heal and nobody could do that for me but myself,i started to appreciate the way that i was and began to look within,began to question my thoughts,were they a reality or was i just asuming the worst negative outcome in order to protect my feeling if such a thing happened.And step by step the love that i was feeling for my self was reflected everywhere,i wasnt looking for it in a specific place,a specific person ...it came with a smile from a stranger,it came with joy on taking care of my body and health,it came with the way that the sun touched my skin and the wind played with my hair,with time i saw that love has been there all along,within me.
So for this new chapter in you life i wish you find love withing,i wish that you find joy in the little things,i wish that you start appreciating people that give you unconditional love and you no longer feel the need to ask it ,it will just be given,i hope that you feel in every cell in you body that you are worthy more than you could ever imagine.
Sendin you lots of love and positivity.
Reply