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i have been suffering with depression for about 7 years. The thoughts started when I was around 10/11. They started because a 'family' member took advantage of me. I started having negative thoughts about myself and that I am not enough and that i'm worthless. I started cutting myself, I didn't care what people thought about scars. I wanted help in a sense I was attention seeking because I wanted someone else to tell my parents that I was struggling not me. My 'friend' was and is aware of why I harmed and why I have these thoughts but she could not give two shits about me. Otherwise she would of been there for me and helped me. I finished school, hanging on with a thread. I didn't want to live any further. At 15/16 I was ready to end my life. My relationship with my mum is not good, she suffers with mental health but denies it. But i chose to stick around longer. A year later, we're in a pandemic, i'm 6 months into a new job and i'm going to be turning 17, my mental health is at rock bottom. The 8th of July 2020, I just finished work at 10pm, went home and went straight into my bedroom where I attempted. But my body chose to not give up on me. 2 days later I celebrated my 17th birthday wanting everything to end. Now a year on, I cant fucking physically and mentally carry on, I want to end it all , i'm in so much pain. I don't know what to do anymore! It hasn't gotten any better my health
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Hey. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m so so so sorry. You don’t deserve this and no one does. I know it feels like there’s no reason to stay and no one cares about you but please stay. Stay because you don’t know what tomorrow will be. Stay to create a future that you want for yourself. A future that you deserve. Full of love and laughter and happiness. I know it seems like that time will never come, but please trust me…it will. You WILL be happy. You will have sunny days. And if the people around aren’t doing enough to let you know you deserve to be happy, I just want to let you know that you do. And I care about you. You matter. Your life matters. Your mental health matters. Find people that care. Drop those that don’t. And happy birthday. I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come. I know its not been easy but you did it. That demonstrates strength. Show some more strength. Fight against all odds and create that live for yourself. You will make it. I know you will I believe in you.
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