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I'm worried for my mom, she's so worried and tensed for her brother who's addicted to drinking. There seems no solution to stop his problem. He's depressed yes, he's got problems with his job yes, and he's now addicted to drinking. Got a kid and wife and a joint family too. Everyone are so tensed and worried for his health and his addiction. My mom already has her own health issues and now this anxiousness for her brother is on peak. I'm worried for her. I can't see my mom in constant worry. Please help if you have any solution. Rehabilitation is not possible because he won't go, he doesn't listen to anyone. He doesn't cares for his health too. Idk what's so wrong with him but because of him everyone is worried. My old grandma is also worried. How can get him on right track? He's a very good person at heart but this strange addiction and it's causes are masking him. I'm so sad :(
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My father drank himself into suicide. I found him dead on his apartment floor when he didn't show up to my wedding.
Perhaps I'm in no place to speak. I don't think I haven't worked out yet - but at the core of addiction - I see self hatred.
Take it for what it is - the limitation of oxygen to the brain via a chemical means for the hopes of altering the conscience - because for your uncle, just being alive is not okay. There is something missing and he does not know what it is, but it is his responsibility to find it.
He is scared of something. You need to find out what it is.
ReplyI'm an ex-alcoholic but I'm planning a major relapse soon and possible suicide. That right there should tell you what you're up against. When someone is that far gone, as it sounds like your uncle is, nobody can help. The only thing that can help (which worked for me) is a huge scare. A near death experience, organ failure or some other dreadful incident which makes a person question "is it my time to die right now?" I had that scare last year and quit drinking cold turkey that day.
But as you can see from my opening statement, that alone isn't going to cure anyone. I believe addiction isn't the problem; it's the result of a larger problem which must be fixed otherwise the person will resume the same path over and over.
I'm sorry, this probably isn't what you or anyone wants to hear. There's nothing you can do. Maybe if he has that major scare and makes a strong, brave decision to turn his life around, that's when you can jump in and give him support to keep him going, maybe that will work. I didn't have ongoing support which is why I slowly sunk back down to rock bottom. But if recovery is truly possible then I think it has to start with a violent scare, followed by much much support. Without those 2 components in that order, it's hopeless.
ReplyHe's got to make the first step to want to stop. He needs to reach out to an addiction counselor or AA. Beyond that church can also change people. You can talk all day but sadly until they themselves are ready to stop the cycle will continue. My parents were addicts got years. Still are to a degree and with alcohol and pills. I hope he gets some help and changes. I'm sorry for what your family is going through.
ReplyOnce I have heared in radio that the best you can do is to give him love, I mean let him know that you're there for him and that all of you love him and you're here for him, because he is important to you. (note: that does not mean that you'll give him money for drinking etc.)
The reasoning for it is simple: the more hate or bad feeling disappointment you make the more likely he would like to be alone, or with ppl who do understand him or has similar drinking problems etc. That means making friendly non-alcoholic environment where he would also feel supported.
ReplyIf he is not listening to anyone and continuing the way he is, he will first lose his family and everything else will follow and I believe you understand this. It may be wise to try to get together as a family to talk to him altogether and sense if there is a chance he is likely to cooperate or not. If he does not cooperate, nothing will change. If there is any light, you may want to help him to get professional help. Once a person wants to deal with addiction, there are helping channels out there but he must want to stop it. I am sorry for what you are going thru. I truly hope he will get better.
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